Tricks to Help You Get Over Your Crush Emotionally but know that nothing beats the butterflies you get in your stomach when you realize you have a crush. When just the thought of making this person your new bae is enough to set an embarrassingly big smile across your face, you know you have it bad. While crushes can turn into beautiful, long-lasting relationships, they can also go the other way. Maybe your crush has feelings for someone else, or they’re already in a relationship or they’ve ghosted you because they’re just not that into you. Even if you never even uttered two words to your crush, it can be heartbreaking to be totally obsessed with someone who isn’t available, into you, or right for you.
Sometimes you just need to cut a crush loose. The ups and downs can be too much to handle, and taking a step back can be crucial when it comes to self-care. Seriously. To help you through the grueling process, here’s exactly how to get over a crush…
1. Think about how the crush is affecting you.
So how do you know if you need to get over your crush? The answer: When the bad feelings start to outweigh the good. Do you feel amazing after talking to them or do you leave feeling a little empty? Are you trying to get their attention and it’s just not happening? Are you seeing a side of them that you don’t like? Sometimes you might want to get over a crush because the rollercoaster ride of emotions is making you want to vom. Or maybe, they just aren’t into you or available. If that’s the case, there’s no point in torturing yourself, and moving on will free you up to become available for someone who’s actually right for you.
There are a million reasons why a crush might not become more. Love and even “like” can be complicated AF. If you feel like something just isn’t right, trust yourself. I know you probably hear this from your friends all the time, but seriously: If they are not treating you like gold, they are not worth it.
2. Focus on yourself.
While you might be really feeling down in the dumps, this period can be the perfect time to work on the most important relationship you have: the one with yourself. Focus on what you can control. Go for a walk, make a list of your goals, work on a new skill. Channel all this energy into something positive and meaningful. You may as well put it somewhere, right?
3. Do something special.
Don’t know where to start when it comes to focusing on yourself? Start by doing something that makes you feel special. Go get your nails done, make your favorite meal, or buy that cute workout set you’ve been eyeing forever. You deserve the world and this will help remind you that.
4. Distract yourself.
Is there a new Netflix show you’ve been eyeing? This is the perfect time to start it. Try to keep from obsessing over your crush by distracting yourself with activities, plans, anything that will keep you busy.
5. Don’t go looking for a new crush.
And when I say distract yourself, I don’t mean with someone new because you could just end up in the same situation all over again. Besides, instead of idealizing someone you may never get, try to find someone more accessible that could result in a healthy relationship. For now, though, maybe just lay off the crush-finding for at least a little while. Read This Are You Struggling Because Your Ex Has Moved On? Read This
6. A little distance goes a long way.
One thing to think about: Crushes are kind of like bug bites—the more attention you pay to them by itching and scratching, the harder it is to heal in peace. If you usually sit by them in math, maybe switch seats for a little bit. And if you know they always hit up Chipotle after school, maybe get your after-class burrito delivered for a week or so. Trust me, the distance will help.
7. Do not look at their social media accounts.
This is probably both the most obvious advice and the hardest to follow. Stop stalking them on social media. Even though you see them in school, it doesn’t mean you need to suffer through them popping up on your Snapchat and dominating your Insta feed. Say it with me: unfollow them (or at least mute their profile). Just try not to stalk them online—it’s only going to make you feel worse
8. You do you.
Get busy. And be super proactive about it. Max out your group text with plans for stuff to do on the weekends and, if it makes you feel better, Instagram the hell out of all of your awesome friend dates! Maybe there’s a hobby you’ve wanted to pick up or an after school club you dropped that you want to get back into? Do it! If someone isn’t going to make time for you, then you need to make more time for yourself.
9. Don’t rush it.
OK, this next one is a little tricky, but stay with me: Getting over a crush can make you feel like your heart is literally on fire. Why? Because these tricky things called feelings have minds of their own. That being said, sometimes you just need to acknowledge your feelings to help get over something. Try acknowledging them, giving them a hug, and then just letting them chill for a little. Forcing yourself to get over it can sometimes make it worse. Read This 10 Secrets On How To Stop Thinking About Your Ex
10. Allow yourself to be sad.
And along with not rushing it, you can even take some time to really be sad. Don’t ignore your emotions and keep them bottled up. They’re there whether you like it or not. I’m not saying lay in bed for a week straight, but give yourself the time to experience your emotions. Maybe take out a journal and write down how you’re feeling, or just grab your pillow and enjoy a good cry. Remember, you’re only human.
11. Write it out.
Actually, let’s talk about the journal for a second because even if you’ve never used one or you don’t consider yourself to be much of a writer, getting your feelings out onto paper can be extremely cathartic. It doesn’t have to be good, just let your thoughts spill out onto the page, or write a letter to your ex-crush that you aren’t going to send (just don’t address the envelope, *ahem* Lara Jean).
12. Stop idealizing your crush.
When you were crushing hard, you were probably putting your crush on a pedestal. Maybe you thought they were perfect in every way and that’s why you were so into them. Now, stop doing that. No one is perfect, even your crush, and if you continue to think that, it will just make the healing harder. When you can finally be realistic about your crush, it will make getting over them much easier.
13. Talk to someone you trust.
There’s no reason to go through this alone. Grab a friend, parent, or sibling and ask them to sit down with you to chat. Talking through the situation will help so much and your pal will be able to provide you with clarity and perspective. Plus, after you’ve talked it out, hopefully they can make you smile, if only for a second.
14. Ask for a temporary ban on crush-related conversation.
While you’re talking to your friend, ask them to not bring up your ex-crush for a little bit. No more sending their Instagram Stories in your group messages or discussing who they asked to prom. It’s normal that you need a little space for a bit, and your friends should respect that.
15. Know that you aren’t alone.
You’re hardly the first person to experience unrequited love and you won’t be the last, but sometimes, when going through heartbreak, it can seem like no one understands how you feel. In reality, almost everyone has felt the same way at some point in their life, and reminding yourself of that can help you feel less alone.
16. Find a way to get closure.
It can be hard to get closure when there was no actual relationship to get closure from, but finding a way to end the narrative may help you get over the situation. Maybe get rid of some things that remind you of them. Or when you are feeling better, prove that to yourself by chatting with them in between classes without going into a complete tizzy afterwards. Trust me, doing that will make you feel like a complete Rockstar.
17. Stay strong.
We’re not going to sit here and tell you that it’ll all be alright, that you’re young and you’ll have so many relationships after this. (We’ll leave it to your parents to say all that stuff.) But we will say that your feelings are real and true because you have depth and brilliance and, seriously, who would be stupid enough to pass that up? You got this.