My husband has left me after 14 years of marriage and I’m devastated

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The Founder of Hisparadise, a relationship counselor. Johnnywriter has covered topics related to depression, anxiety, and relationships. With an understanding that there is never too much information and helpful research about relationship problems in all of its forms, He continues to look for new and creative ways to both start discussions & engage with others about these important topics.

My husband left me back in June, saying he loved me but wasn’t ‘in love’ with me.

After fourteen years of marriage, I’m completely devastated. After we split up, we continued seeing each other for a couple of months, but then he ended it again and I discovered he’d actually met someone else.

I managed as best as I could. I tried to do new things and make new friends. Then in October, he told me he was regretting his decision and wanted to try again. At this point, he was still in his new relationship.

Stupidly, I had sex with him but afterwards I told him he needed to finish with this woman before we could try again, so a week later, he did just that. He stayed living at his parents’ house and we tried to take it slow. For the first week, we went out on a few dates, but during this time, this woman was still sending him texts and calling him. He wouldn’t block her number – he said he would, but he never did. On the Friday night, he stayed over and I allowed him to sleep in our bed, we had sex on the Saturday morning then he went back to his parents.

On Sunday, his dad phoned me to ask if he could come over and see me, stating that he ‘only wanted to help’. He came round to the house and we had a long conversation about taking things slowly. He revealed that he’d told my husband to go away for a few days on his own and clear his head.

However, that same afternoon, someone sent a picture to my phone of him in bed with the other woman, with the words ‘last night’ underneath. So it would seem after he left me on Saturday morning, he went straight over to her on Saturday night. I was so enraged that I called him straightaway and asked him what he was doing – and then told him to tell me he loved her and he would never hear from me again. He did just that.

Now I feel worthless and heartbroken. I just don’t know how to carry on. I’m forty-six and suddenly single. He’s even turned his back on his sixteen-year-old stepdaughter, who he’s raised since she was one. This other woman is a cocaine user – she has four kids that she can’t control and who don’t go to school, she doesn’t work and has a filthy house – my husband told me all of this. I don’t know how to carry on. I cry, I can’t function and I wish I wasn’t here.


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