I feel like I keep being used by men

[story-lines]I had an abortion last month but I didn’t tell anyone and kept this to myself.

It was very painful, and I felt alone. I felt very sad I did this to myself and had to abort an innocent baby.

I was seeing this guy for two years but we very rarely met up. We had sex when we last met up and it wasn’t good, four weeks later I was pregnant!

I talk to him on the phone a lot. I have anxiety and haven’t got the courage to talk to boys. I had his number so that made it easier for me.

He isn’t exactly what I wanted but I had no one else so I stuck with him. I convinced myself he had good points. I tried to contact him after the abortion to arrange to see him again because I felt a sense of loss and wanted his love and care.  He just hung the phone up on me and now he’s not answering my calls – he cut off all communication.

This shows me I don’t matter and that I’m worthless to him. I feel like I’ve been exploited in this relationship and that he just used me for sex.

I have been so stupid to believe all his lies. I didn’t care about myself and that is why this happened.

Please can you give me advice on how to not get into a situation like this again?

Do I deserve someone who is going to show me kindness and positive memories than the hell this person has put me through?

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