This article fulfills the promise of exposing how to get over cheating and stay together without problems
Note: You will fix the problem only you when you are wholly attentive to the guide.
Kindly put away distractions and follow up to easily get over cheating and stay together!
How to get over cheating and stay together without problems
1. Find Time and be Engulfed
You are feeling down, I know and it’s okay to feel that way. Also, you have the right to even confront that partner if you are the victim. But then, I don’t recommend confrontation, even though it resorts from anger. This is largely because it doesn’t encourage the aim of staying with someone who cheated on you.
The only way to compensate yourself while being engulfed is to recount the situation. Strange, right? I often advise affected persons to reinvent that memory of the time when the relationship was new. Just as you know, the beginning of every relationship is like fresh palm wine. Sadly enough, it takes both partners’ effort for the relationship to remain tasty.
As a principle on how to get over cheating and stay together, you need something to weep over. If you first tell it to a friend, what do you think will be their responses? To get rid of the relationship? To forgive and forget? The religious-minded ones may go as far as quoting the scriptures which solves ‘nothing’. I mean, aren’t these the sorts of things you and I already know? In fact, if a friend or a sibling asked for your opinion, you’ll advise him/her to end the relationship or forgive.
2. Talk to a Therapist
Have you ever downplayed the emotional powers of therapists? In situations like this, you damn require their services. As a principle on how to get over being cheated on and staying together, you need a professional to talk to. This comes after you’ve given time to yourself to weep out the pains.
One such person is me. So, apart from reading my guide to get over cheating and continue with the relationship, you need my personal words. How do you do this? Simply, hit the ‘contact’ button and you have me.
Meanwhile, while you’re in a discussion with a therapist, you need not lie. Guess what, a professional is confidential with your data, unlike an unprofessional neighbour whom you disclose your situation.
3. Study Your Partner’s Attitude
The idea behind the principles of how to get over cheating and stay together is ‘reconciliation’. Therefore, you and your partner have to reconcile in order to be able to stay together after cheating. However, there’s a problem and that has to do with a partner’s attitude.
If a cheat is hardly sorry for his actions, I don’t advise staying together even if it’s your fault that he/she cheated. Over the course of my experience as a relationship counselor, I have realized that relationships thrive on valuing each other. This means that if a partner is not remorseful after cheating, it’s unlikely that the relationship will stand. Why? It’s because the value he/she places on the relationship is either too little or ‘zero’.
In essence, after studying and uncovering whether your partner’s attitude is negative or positive, do either of the following:
- If his/her attitude is positive, make time and discuss it with him/her.
- In the case of a negative attitude, you have to focus on the cause of cheating. It could have been your fault. And, some individuals are fund of not apologizing until they’re apologized to since the other person was the first to fault.
4. Discuss the Issue with Your Partner
For some persons, it’s stupid to make time and discuss with someone who cheated. Well, in as much as this may be true, it isn’t always the case. Concerning how to get over being cheated on and staying together, you should make time for a discussion.
I once had a next-door neighbour who rants often with the wife. One day, I figured out he ranted often because the wife cheated. Now, had it been the wife made time to discuss the issue with him, he would probably not have been ranting, at least not often. Why I’m adding this is because the often said:
Dear, sit your partner down, whether you’re the cheater or the person being cheated on. It is one of the basic ways to stay together after cheating.
5. See a Therapist with Him
In early 2014, a colleague phoned to say she wants to find out how to get over cheating and stay together with her boyfriend. “Seriously?”, I asked. “Well, I just f**king love him” was her response. The next statement that came from me was “see a therapist with him”. I felt bad after making the statement because it felt like I was taunting her. Well, that wasn’t going to be the case because she loved the idea. That evening, she called to say that meeting a therapist with her boyfriend healed her wound.
There is something about therapists that is more interesting than how confidential they treat your problem. Moreover, you can sort your problem with them either online or at their physical offices. Also, since this involves you and your boyfriend, the interaction with a therapist would be more interesting via a video call.
In cases where it’s difficult to get through to a therapist, consult a professional counselor or an elderly person with your partner.
6. Provide an Avenue for Trust to Set in Again
For a relationship to fully recover after cheating, ‘trust’ must set in. For example, if you are a man, you can get what you want from a woman out of trust. This is usually the toughest part of everything. At this point, you have to either make or break the ethics on how to get over cheating and stay together. What this means is that you should employ anything possible to earn a partner’s trust. The least thing like leaving your phone unlocked at home could do the magic.
Also, there are attitudes to avoid as a lady or man that boosts the chances of remaining together after cheating. Some of such attitudes may include the following:
- Staying out late at night.
- Being close to several opposite sexes.
- Locking your mobile phone and computers.
- Indirectly flirting with others (common with men).
- Keeping things away from your partner.
- Uploading photos of places you’ve been without your partner’s knowledge.
Apart from these, there are several other attitudes you put up that make your partner suspicious. Thus, making it difficult for you guys to remain in the relationship after cheating.
7. Restart the Love Life
The final thing to do to remain together after cheating is to refresh the relationship. You know when you’re surfing the internet and a particular page does not load or loads but not appropriately. What you do is simply hit ‘refresh’ and the page will load fine. This equally applies to a relationship that you don’t want to let go.
How to Restart a Relationship After Cheating
This exists in line with how to get over cheating and stay together without a problem. In order to swiftly refresh or restart a relationship, focus on partying yourselves slightly. Do you understand what I mean? What I mean is you should both absent yourselves from each other. If you’re couples in the relationship, take a short time away from the marriage. Wherever would be your destination must not be too far away from your partner’s home. If it’s a dating affair, I recommend not seeing often. This will help you and your partner uncover whether you miss the relationship or not.
A few more things to do to restart a relationship include the following:
- Avoid referring to your partner using his/her pet name until they notice.
- Give more attention to your job at that moment.
- Don’t discuss dating issues with him/her.
- If you upload often on your social media, withdraw a bit from it.
- Get yourself engaged wherever you’re free.
Can a Relationship Survive After Cheating?
Sincerely, this is not a very rare instance. Reports have it that over 50% (about 57%) of relationships that continue after cheating does not last. For me, this is not a worrisome number because the chances that your relationship will survive the way you desire is quite high.
After all, the strength of every relationship lies in the minds of the partners. So, if you decide that your relationship stands, it will stand no matter the difficulties you’ll face.
What to Take Away
After fixing the issues, expect a ‘cold’ relationship for a few weeks. The relationship will not immediately wax strong but will take time.