How I became more mature in my relationship

Anyone who has been in a relationship will agree that love is just one of the many factors needed for any commitment to work and stand the test of time. In other words, even if we genuinely love someone, the realities of life have a way of reminding us that nothing is ever simple – especially when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Asking the right questions and seeking advice from the right people can give you more chances of finally finding the answers to what really makes a relationship work. Once you’ve gathered everything you need either from the thoughts of people who have made it or from the pages of a magazine, you’ll figure out one unifying concept that holds all of them together: maturity.

In definition, maturity is a person’s ability to appropriately respond to others and to the outside world. Being mature is a skill that one should learn and cannot be acquired instinctively.

So what does it mean to be mature especially if you are in a commitment? To answer this question, read on and discover the ways to be more mature in a relationship.

1. Address the needs of the relationship first.
Selfishness has no room in a relationship and the idea of being in a commitment with someone means that you have to think and decide not only for yourself but for the other person, too.

Maturity means making the right decisions and working on goals meant to benefit not just yourself or your significant other. These goals should be focused and be based on what both of you wants and needs and how the consequences can affect your future.

2. Learn the values of trust, respect, and sincerity.
Learn the values of the most important ingredients to a happy and healthy relationship. Trust your partner that they have the strength to fight for what you have. Respect them as a person and as a human being. Appreciate sincerity and learn to express genuine love and affection towards each other.

3. Accept the reality that people aren’t perfect.
When you can accept and tolerate the worst part of them, when you can get through their most terrible tantrums and bad moods, it means that there’s a huge chance that you can end up together. It’s important to recognize that the person you are in love with is not perfect and it’s beautiful if, despite these imperfections, you still have the eyes to see the best part of them.

However, know when you should step in and do your part to help them grow and inspire them to change for better.

4. Look at things from your partner’s perspective.
Never think that you’re the only one who knows how to make the relationship work. You’re not always right and you can’t have the final say in everything. Being in a healthy relationship means having the wisdom to understand and see things from both perspectives.

5. Practice patience and always choose forgiveness.
Loving someone makes us emotionally vulnerable and it’s true that the person that can make us the happiest is the same person who can easily break our heart into a million pieces. Your partner, just like you, is only human, capable of making mistakes.

There are moments when you will get hurt, when you will feel that you’ve been betrayed or taken for granted. However, don’t let these get to you. Let patience give you strength and let forgiveness give you hope that everything is just a part of the process.

6. Accept the fact that relationships can’t be perfect.
Just like what was mentioned in the previous section, there are days when the love of your life will break your heart. There will be moments, too, when you make the wrong choices that can eventually hurt your relationship.

Everything is just a part of the process and all the challenges that you face as a couple are there to either make or break you. Don’t let them break you.

7. Realize the destructive consequences of overthinking.
One clear sign of maturity in a relationship is when you no longer have the time and energy to accommodate negative and destructive thoughts that could potentially end your relationship. While many young couples fail to trust and have faith in their significant others, their older and more mature counterparts can easily let go of these unnecessary emotions.

ALSO READ: Sacrifice vs. Compromise in a Relationship: 8 Differences You Should Know

8. Be more sensitive and always take time to listen.
Be a good listener and know the right words to say depending on what the moment requires. Having the sensitivity to find the right words can help your significant other feel that they can always talk to you about anything. Make them feel that they are with a dependable friend and a supportive partner.

It’s important that couples understand the value of communication and how it can create a stronger bond between two different people.

9. Admit mistakes and learn from them.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage to learn from the mistakes that we have made in the past but it also takes a great level of maturity to admit that we are not always right.

It’s important to acknowledge this flaw of being human: everybody makes mistakes and we often fail to see the wrong things we’ve done until it’s already too late.

10. Recognize the power of words and how to use them.
Words are powerful and how you use them can either make another person smile or cry. Learn to choose what to say and what not to express.  You have all the right to express how you feel, good or bad, but don’t use this freedom to intentionally hurt the person you love.

It takes a lot of maturity to figure out life alone and being in a passionate relationship with another person can make everything harder and more complicated. That’s the reason why young love doesn’t usually work and is often the most tragic.

However, even if you’ve lost someone you love just because you couldn’t make it work, it’s not a reason to give up. You’ll soon find your way and meet someone better. Take all the time you need and learn as much as you can.