I know the excitement you feel when he says “Babe come move in with me” In the name of love, many couple nowadays thinking that living together is the best option. Despite of the young age and unofficial marital status, they think that spending each day together is the best.
When you’re wildly in love, sometimes the only logical option is to move in with the person that is making you so crazy happy. Except… that is literally the opposite of logical. Young couples tend to jump into moving in with each other without realizing what they’re actually signing up for. If you ignore the warning signs, there is a lot on the line and there is a lot that you can lose. There is a lot more at stake than you might even realize and this is an important time in your life so you should make sure that your love isn’t blinding you. It might seem like you have everything to gain, but the total opposite is true. If you think you know him, think again, because there are some difficult questions you need to ask both him and yourself before you shack up together.
In many open culture such as in the Western countries, living together brings a particular advantage, that is you know your partner better before stepping into the more important stage in your life: marriage. But not all culture in the world approve of this cohabitation things. When the idea of living together is appearing in your head, there are more things to consider: the religion, the culture, as well as the worst possibility that could happen.
So here are the reasons why you shouldn’t move in with him, yet.
He Doesn’t Put You First
When you move in with your boyfriend, it’s inevitable that you’re going to depend on him for one thing or another. He’s going to grab you tampons when you’re in too much pain to go out or buying you medicine when you have the flu but are you sure you can really rely on him to do the little things for you? Of course, there’s going to be some situations when he can’t put you first, but if you feel like you’re always on the back burner and never his priority, you definitely shouldn’t move in with him. If he decides to blow off an important date so he can go hang out with his friends or forgets important appointments you wanted him there for, it’s only going to get worse when you decide to move in together. If he isn’t putting you first and making you his top priority, can you really trust him enough to live with him?
To Avoid The Unnecessary Fights
Fighting is natural in a relationship. We grow together through fights. But sadly it’s also the main Reasons Why You Should Break Up with Your Boyfriend. Living together means more problems, more fight.
You’re Not Yourself Around Him
If you can’t imagine yourself doing all the private things you do when you’re alone around him, then forget about moving in with him. Living together should feel seamless, but if you’re not entirely yourself around him, then there will be some major bumps along the way. You need to be completely comfortable around him, and while some people say it’s possible to become too comfortable around your boyfriend, that’s totally wrong. He’s not only your boyfriend, he’s also supposed to be your best friend, which means you should be able to say or do anything around him. If this doesn’t sound like where your relationship is at yet, then you need to veto the idea of finding a cute little apartment with him, because it’s not going to work out. Until you feel as comfortable around him as you do when you’re alone, it’s time to keep maturing in the relationship before you take that next step, because it’s more of a gigantic leap.
Enjoy Your Single Time
If you enjoy coming home after work and mellowing out in silence, don’t expect that to happen anymore once you move in with your boyfriend. He’ll always be around, and if you’re around each other too much, it might become unhealthy. It’s important to have space as a couple even when you’re living together, but many young couples aren’t mature enough to understand that. When you live with someone, it’s almost impossible to view them objectively, which is exactly why fights tend to increase when you move in together. The more you’re around each other, the more you fight. This will be especially hard for you if you’re more introverted than extroverted, and what happens if your boyfriend wants to have friends over when you want some quiet time? Living together can be complicated, especially when you don’t fully understand each other, which is why you might not want to move in with him if you want your personal space.
In Control Of Your Schedule
You are still single so you have to pursue your success. Walk through the sleepless night if you must or get home at dawn when you have stacks of job to finished. Imagine if you are living together with your partner, as you have to consider them too. It’s impossible to leave them all day at home alone and lastly, you can go out with friends and come back anytime.
While it’s important to have space from each other when you live together, it’s also important that you take each other’s feelings into consideration, too. Have you sat down and discussed what life might be like down the road while you’re pursuing your careers? If he’s going to be working nights while you plan to work days, that spells disaster. When you’re in a romantic relationship, you need to balance space for yourself and time for each other, and an imbalance might mean the end. This is why having opposite schedules might ruin everything, and it’s why you need to talk about what the future might look like years down the road. If he’s going to have an opposite schedule than you, that’s a serious reason not to move in with him. You have to plan your future together if it’s going to work out because while it might be fun now, the heartbreak could kill you later.
You’ll Lose The Mystery
If there’s any surprise left in your relationship, expect it to vanish into thin air the moment that you move in together. When all of your bodily functions are occurring under the same roof, you shower together, and rarely have a moment to yourselves, it’s nearly impossible to surprise each other. How can you expect to excite him with a matching bra and underwear set when he saw you get dressed this morning? It can be hard to keep things fresh and new when you live with him, and unless you’re ready to committing to hard work to keep the mystery alive, it’ll disappear before you even know it’s gone. You’ll know all of his routines and exactly what he’s doing at all hours of the day, and for some ladies that might be exactly what you want, but the chances are you aren’t prepared for it. If you want to keep things spicy, you shouldn’t move in with him.
To Cut Off The Living Cost Is Not A Good Reason
Some people, especially the young ones, opted for living together with their partner for the living cost reasons. As the expenses of life is increasing by the day, splitting up into two seems like a good idea. For the installment payment to the water and electricity bills, you should not make this a reason to move in with them.
You Haven’t Been Together Long Enough
No matter how natural it feels, moving in together after a couple months is probably a bad idea. After all, it can take years to truly know somebody. It’s better to take it slow and be mature about it and acknowledge that there’s a lot to learn about your boyfriend, instead of leaping in feet first and totally screwing your life up. How do you know he isn’t a total sociopath? There are a lot of dark traits that might be lingering in your man, and only time will tell when those qualities might emerge. Do yourself a favor: don’t move in with him. It’s always smart to take your time and be careful. A lot of people make this life changing decision without thinking. The very last thing you should do is move in with him, especially if you’ve only known him a few months. Honestly, it may suck, but you shouldn’t even be considering this if you still need to get to know each other.
He’s Bad With Money
Is he spending all of his pay cheques as soon as he gets it instead of saving it? Does he not even know what a savings account is? Yup, that’s a major warning sign. If he spends all of his money on expensive food, video games or cars, you need to find yourself a man instead of a boy. That is not someone you want to move in with because before you know it, he’ll be borrowing money from you and never giving it back. If you can’t sit down and have a discussion about saving money before you move in, things are totally doomed from the start. If you’re not good with money either and spend all of it on clothes and shoes, it’s best to do a few more years of prioritizing before you decide to unite your lives. It could be disastrous if you feel like you’re paying for all the groceries while he isn’t pulling his weight, so unless you’re certain he’s not awful with money, don’t move in with him.
You Don’t Trust Him
Why would you want to move in with him if you can’t trust him? Diving into a deeper commitment isn’t going to solve any problems, it’ll just make them worse and the consequences will be even more dire when everything finally explodes. You have a lot to lose when you move in with someone. There will always be reasons not to move in with him, and you shouldn’t consider it if you can’t trust him with everything. If you think that moving in together will mean that you can control him, think again because even married couples cheat. If you’re considering moving in with someone you don’t trust with your life, that is a tragedy waiting to happen. It’s crucial to be mature when you’re in a serious relationship, and while it might make financial sense to do it, the chances are your relationship is already over if you can’t trust him. It’s simple; don’t move in with him if you don’t trust him.
Save The Excitement For Later
The vision of moving together brings excitement for young partners. As they have never been closer to their partner, a lot of fun ahead seems to be fluttering. You can wait no longer to show them you are a Wife Material…smiles
He Has Commitment Issues
Sure, he might think moving in is a good idea but maybe he hasn’t really given it much thought (or at least any serious thought). However, what happens when he gets cold feet and changes his mind after the two of you have signed your lease and hired movers? What if it’s even worse than that, and after a couple months he realizes that a relationship that serious really isn’t for him? If you feel like he can’t settle down, then why would you move in with him? With so much to lose, it’s crucial to be scanning your man for these warning signs, and make sure you’re not pressuring him into an idea that you’ll later regret. Some men are just born to be bachelors, and make sure you don’t make the mistake of moving in with one. You’ll be filled with nothing but regret, and you’ll realize how many reasons there are to not move in with your boyfriend.
Why would you live in inconvenience when you don’t have to? Living together means sharing everything. There is no way all your bag and shoes collection could be well arranged. You have to make space for their stuffs! This may be little thing as you love them, but as the time pass by the inconvenience is getting real.
You Haven’t Talked About The Future
If you’re moving in together, then you better talk about marriage first. That might seem a little ridiculous, but it’s actually not. What do you expect, to move in together and just see where it goes? If you break up after you live together for some time, it’s bound to feel like a divorce and turn your life upside down. Truly, there isn’t really any going back once you move in… unless by going back you mean dealing with a broken heart and wondering why you spent so long with this guy. Save yourself the sorrow and ask yourself, is this the man you’re going to marry? He better be on the same page as you, but any couple that moves in with each other without really expecting to marry each other are totally crazy. You would only do that unless you wanted to set yourself up for disaster, but you love yourself too much to do that. If you don’t talk about the future, don’t move in with him.
You Could Lose Your Independence
If you love being on your own, you might feel kind of weird if you’re with your boyfriend all the time. Before you know it, you totally depend and rely on him in such a way that you have a hard time being without him. Suddenly your independence seems to be vanishing into thin air, because you have to run every decision by him and tell him everything you’re doing because, well, you live together. With every passing day, you’ll grow to rely on your boyfriend more and more. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s a hard pill to swallow for women that want to hold on to every ounce of their independence. It’s not only that but before you know it, your friends will be calling you less and you’ll hardly ever be going out because they just assume you want to stay in with your boyfriend. It can be difficult to hold on to your independence when you move in with him, so maybe you shouldn’t.
Your Wedding Will Have Less Meaning
Wedding is something that people have been waiting for. It remarks a new phase in your life. But it will become meaningless once you have lived together. Before and after marriage bring no different, and the best Words to Say to Best Friend on Their Wedding would mean less.
You will have a long lasting insecurity upon living together before marriage. Especially for women, as there is no commitment, there’s nothing to tie you up. Things get more complicated once you have a baby.
After finish reading all the reasons why you should not live together before marriage, now the idea doesn’t seem really good, right? While many youngsters and single people are enjoying their free single time, why should you sacrifice yours?