To be honest with you there are some common signs he is using you and what to do about It. I know going into a relationship in the beginning can feel like a paradise on earth and after sometime you just feel as if something isn’t just right and trust me everything is not right. While you like the guy you’re dating, you find yourself looking for signs he’s using you. Something just feels…off, and the last thing you want to do is be played.
Well, I’m here to point you in the right direction. If any of the following signs he’s using you ring true, you need to exit immediately. You are too smart and sexy to be taken advantage of by any man, and there’s someone out there for you who will respect you the way you deserve to be respected.
The thing about players is…they’re really good in playing games and also good in handling a woman sexually but never good in taking care of her emotionally. They’re so good at being dishonest and making you believe anything they want you to. So if it turns out that any of these signs he’s using you are true, I don’t want you to be hard on yourself. Every woman I’ve ever worked with as a relationship coach has been taken advantage of, so you’re far from alone.
The key is taking action immediately once you realize you’re being played. If you identify some of the signs he’s using you and then you stay with him, well, that’s on you, that’s your own choice.
I get it, though. You may feel like you won’t meet another guy as hot or cute as he is, and maybe there are some really great things about this one (other than the fact that he’s using you).
But I’m here to tell you that staying with a guy like this is unacceptable for your emotional and physical well-being. For one, you’re reinforcing his behavior.
For two, you’re settling. You’re giving up the hope that there is one great guy out there for you. This is not him. Imagine your life with this jerk of a guy five or even fifty years from now. Are you happy then? Of course not.
So here are common signs he’s using you. Sometimes we don’t see what’s right underneath our noses, but there it is.
He Contacts You on His Schedule
Here is the first Common signs he is using you. Every man is busy but no man can be too busy for a woman he loves dearly. If he tells you how busy he is all the time then this could be the first sign.
Start paying attention to when you hear from this guy. Is it only late at night? Or maybe it takes him days to respond to your text. This, frankly, is unacceptable.
Certainly, you shouldn’t expect him to instantly respond to every text, but if you’re seeing a pattern of him contacting you when he gets around to it, then this may be a sign he’s using you.
How to escape: If you’re not sure if this is an issue, try texting him during the day and keeping track of when he responds. Also notice if he only texts you late at night (hello, bootie call). You can ask him to be more prompt in responding or text during the day, but it might not be worth it.
He Says All The Right Things
Here is the second Common sign he is using you. This guy is a smooth operator. He’s wrapped you around his finger and you know it. From your first date when he made himself vulnerable by telling you something personal to his constant girl, you’re so beautiful compliments, he’s proven to be smooth…
You’re used to guys acting a little nervous on early dates with you, and this guy’s confidence is a bit much. The fact that he always knows exactly what to say makes you feel like he’s probably saying these things to a whole lot of women.
How to escape: If you think he’s talking to other women, he probably is. But this as one of the signs he’s using you is harder to pin down. I mean, you can’t say you’re flattering me! Clearly, you’re using me! So I suggest you pay attention and watch out for other signs he’s using you to be sure that he’s trying to take advantage of you.
You’re Not Going on Actual Dates
Here is the third Common sign he is using you. You may have been seeing this guy a few weeks, but think about how you’re spending time together. You might be meeting at your house for lunch…only you don’t end up leaving the bedroom for a meal. Maybe he works at night and invites you over after he gets off at 11.
One of the signs he’s using you is that you never actually go on a date, especially not a full-on dinner date that costs more than N4,000. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not using a scenario of a broke ass nigga here. but I know that a man will always want to impress his woman as long as he is in love with her.
Has this man actually bought you a meal or taken you out to anywhere that would constitute as a date location? If not, this man isn’t dating you. He’s sleeping with you. You might not even realize it! After all, you’re cool with having sex…but you thought you were having sex with a guy you were dating, in the hopes that it would eventually turn more serious. Sorry to tell you, but it never will. This guy will never commit.
How to escape: Before you ditch him, ask him out for dinner or somewhere else If he’s got some lame excuse, he’s not interested in getting to know you. Move on.
He Won’t Talk About Commitment
Here is the next Common sign he is using you. You’ve been seeing this guy long enough that you feel the two of you should become exclusive and not see other people. Yet every time you bring it up, he freaks out.
Whoa, babe. We haven’t been seeing each other that long. Let’s just keep our options open.
Maybe you haven’t been dating other people, and you wish he’d commit in return. Every time you go out with friends to a place you know he likes, you fear that you’ll run into him and some other girl. Maybe that’s even happened.
How to escape: You have to ask yourself: why is he so averse to committing to you, especially if you’ve been dating for months? I know you feel like you’ve invested serious time in this guy, but he’s communicating a major message that you’re not seeing: he wants to play the field, and you’re just one part of his sport.
He figures it’s not technically cheating since he never said he would be your boyfriend…yet it still feels like he’s being disloyal to you. Ditch the dude. You deserve better.
He’s Beyond Selfish In The Bedroom
Here is another Common sign he is using you. While you enjoy romping around with this man, you realize that things aren’t exactly balanced in the bedroom. You’re definitely giving more than you’re getting. And when you bring it up, he just says, I’m not really into [thing you want him to do.]
If he really cared about you, he’d do whatever it took to make your toes curl. Sex, like a relationship, should be about equal power, with each partner giving just as much as the other.
How to escape: Maybe you’re thinking, well, if I ditch him then I won’t be having sex at all. Look, being alone is better than being with a selfish man. How he treats you in the bedroom is probably indicative of how he treats you outside of it, and he will never be willing to sacrifice his own needs for you.
You’ve Never Met His Friends And Family
Here is the most Common sign he is using you. Again, you’ve been dating this guy for long enough to expect certain things…like meeting his friends or family. I mean, if his family lives across the country, sure, you might not have the opportunity to meet them. But everyone has friends, right? And yet he’s made no effort for you to get to know them.
You’ve got to ask yourself why he’s not interested in introducing you to people who matter to him. Could it be because…you don’t matter to him? I know, I’m being harsh. But I’m giving you these signs he’s using you so that you can see that lightbulb over your head go off and do something about it.
How to escape: Flat out ask him why he isn’t introducing you. I seriously doubt he has a good excuse, but it’ll at least make him squirm…before you tell him you never want to see him again.
He’s Financially Dependent On You
Here is the last Common sign he is using you. You might be looking for signs he’s using you for money, so let’s discuss finances.
Who pays for dates? You or him?
Does he frequently complain about being broke or whine about situations that leave him strapped for cash?
Has he flat out asked you for money?
Here’s my two cents: talking about finances is something that solid, committed couples do. Not people who have dated a few weeks or months. And they have open conversations about money, not try to get it out of the other person.
How to escape: Here, I’d rather focus on what you shouldn’t do: you should never ever give or loan this man money. You don’t know him like that. You will very likely never see it again. But also pay attention to ways you’re financing him: maybe he’s asked you to pay his phone or utility bill or asks you to pick up a few things for him at the store. All of this amounts to the same thing: he’s using you for money.
It hurts to hear, but he’s not dating you because of your sparkling personality. He wants something from you. This will not end well, so get out as soon as you can. And send him a bill for what he owes you (optional though).
I keep saying that nothing I have ever said is a recommendation, just an advice.
Hope this article helps, please tell me if you notice any of these signs on the comment box.