9 Terrible reasons to break up
There are wrong and terrible reasons to breakup just as there are reasons why you should break up or fix it
1) Petty irritations
When you spend a lot of time with one person, you’re bound to find something that irritates you. It’s inevitable.
However, if you break up with somebody over these petty irritations, it might be something you look back on with regret.
Does the fact that they leave clothes on the floor really hinder your life that much?
If you continue to let these annoyances get to you in a relationship, then it might lead to other, bigger things that irk you about your partner.
Sometimes you have to accept that there will be little things that annoy about your partner – but to understand that they are little and are not going to really affect your life.
2) You’re not happy ALL the time
Like anything in life, relationships have their rocky moments. They’ll also have their boring moments.
But just because some days you’re a little more unhappy or bored in your relationship doesn’t mean you should break up. You can’t be happy all the time. There’s always a balance.
And ignoring the duller aspects of a relationship will probably lead to bigger problems down the road.
In her book “The Real Thing”, writer Ellen McCarthy quotes Diane Sollee, a marriage educator who explains that too many people have unrealistic fantasies about their relationship:
“[Sollee] wants couples who are getting ready to walk down the aisle to know — really know — that it will be hard. That there will be times when one or both of them want out and can barely stand the sight of each other. That they’ll be bored, then frustrated, angry, and perhaps resentful.”
“Diane also wants them to know that all of these things are normal.”
Look, when you first start seeing someone, everything seems fun and exciting.
But that will inevitably wear off, but it doesn’t mean that you have to break up.
After all, there is a difference between feeling bored with your partner and feeling bored of your partner.
If you’re simply feeling bored with your Netflix routine, then try to switch it up with some date nights, or pick some new hobbies.
That usually does the trick to reignite the relationship and have some fun.
3) You’re not interested in the same things
So the relationship is going smoothly. Rapport is high. But you’ve overlooked the fact that your hobbies and interests don’t align.
But don’t fear! This is no reason to break-up with someone.
According to Stephanie Sarkis, PhD in Psychology Today:
“Couples with very different interests can have healthy relationships – what counts is that they share common goals and values.”
4) You’re both attracted to other people
Just because you started dating someone doesn’t mean you can’t look at other people and find them attractive. We’re only primates with instincts after all.
You can admire someone else at a healthy distance though – it doesn’t make you unfaithful or less attracted to your partner.
David Bennett, a relationship expert, told Medical Daily:
“Attraction is largely subconscious. We check people out because we are attracted to them and ‘sizing them up…This doesn’t necessarily mean anything more than that we find the person attractive.”
5) Over an argument
Just because you had an argument doesn’t mean you have to break-up. It’s perfectly normal for couples to have fights and disagreements.
Fighting isn’t a sign that something is wrong in the relationship – it just means you’ve had a disagreement, and as long as you’re not trying to deliberately hurt each other, fighting doesn’t mean the end of the relationship.
In fact, believe it or not, couples who argue effectively are 10 times more likely to have a happy relationship than those who sweep difficult issues under the carpet, according to a survey of almost 1,000 adults.
6) Over money
Money can be the root of so many problems and there are bound to be some financial conflicts in most relationships, but it doesn’t mean the end.
There might be differences in spending habits, tolerance of debit or credit, bad investments…the list goes on.
As long as you communicate, be honest and try to work things out fairly, money shouldn’t ruin a relationship.
7) The honeymoon phase is over
It happens to every relationship. The honeymoon phase finishes and the allure starts to fade.
Annoyances creep in and it isn’t as fun as it once was.
But, no it doesn’t mean that your relationship is over. It just means that the relationship is getting real.
Psychologists have said that the more you get to know someone, the more you’ll realize that they are not perfect.
Remember, the honeymoon stage is not reality and it simply isn’t possible for it to last forever.
8) They’re not fulfilling your dreams
As humans, we love to dream and fantasize about our perfect life. But having incredibly high expectations of the “perfect relationship” is setting yourself up for disappointment.
As much as you might fantasize and dream, you’re not a prince or princess and life isn’t always fair.
Sometimes you have to forget about those unrealistic fairytales and front up to reality. If there’s something you really want out of your partner, communicate it!
9) Fear of commitment
This is a common reason to break-up. After all, it’s a big commitment to enter into a long-term relationship.
Now don’t get me wrong, there are times in life when you’re really not ready, but if you can really feel that you like them and you’re getting all the feels, then don’t let the fear of commitment get in your way.