People are quick to dismiss the missionary position as a little, well, tame. And, sure, from The Wheelbarrow to The Reverse Cowgirl, there are plenty of more, erm, athletic ways of getting down. But as hands down one of the most intimate positions out there, don’t be so quick to cross this classic off your list.
(Note: while this article refers to sex between a woman or a person with a vagina, and a man or a person with a penis, there is obviously no reason why any gender pairing, with the right accessories, can’t have a great time with missionary.)
What is the missionary position?
The missionary position is a face-to-face sex position, in which the person doing the penetrating – whether with a penis or a strap-on – is on top, and the person receiving is underneath them.
What are the benefits of missionary position?
‘The missionary position is very good if you enjoy seeing your partner’s face when having sex,’ says Johnnywriter. ‘Some people find eye contact at the moment of intercourse or orgasm erotically potent and pleasure enhancing and many couples report a sense of great connection with the missionary position.’
‘The person on top may enjoy seeing their arm muscles flexing, which can be appealing to see for both partners, and the person underneath can enjoy being looked at from a very good angle, which can also enhance self-love and feeling good about themselves and each other.’
Why is missionary a good position?
As Johnnywriter said, there’s a romantic element to the missionary position, due to the opportunity for eye contact. You also gets lots of skin-on-skin action, which helps with the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin.
5 ways to make missionary position more exciting
While missionary might be a favourite for many, there are still ways you can spice up the position, if you so wish…
1. Introduce a toy
‘With penis-in-vagina missionary position, the man may feel more pleasure than the woman because it is not the best position for stimulating the clitoris,’ says Johnnywriter
‘However, the advantage of the missionary position is that it leaves room for different things to enhance both a sense of pleasure and fun. For example, women can stimulate their own clitoris during penetration for more pleasure or you could try introducing a small vibrating toy to place on the clitoris’.
‘There are some toys that can also be placed on the base of the penis which can help with keeping an erection as well as stimulate the clitoris. The missionary position also gives room for the man’s anus. Many men (including heterosexual men) enjoy inserting a prostate massage device in their anus, which can enhance their pleasure with each thrust they’re making’.
2. Try talking
Lying in a face-to-face position is great for establishing intimacy. ‘Some couples like to look at each other and talk dirty, which can be very erotic,’ says Johnnywriter. ‘Others prefer romantic talk during this position, as it can be just as arousing.’
3. Mix up your location
The missionary position doesn’t have to be saved for the bedroom. If you’re wanting to try out new things, perhaps take your rendezvous elsewhere.
‘The missionary position is particularly good on a sofa or kitchen worktop,’ suggests Johnnywriter. But just make sure you’re home alone, first.
4. Adjust your positioning
‘One way to slightly adjust the position is to have the woman’s legs close to each other or even crossed. The man can hold onto the woman’s legs and stroke them for extra sensations.’
This way, they can still have eye contact and there will be better chance for clitoris stimulation and more sensation in the penis.
5. Think about your surroundings
When it comes to sex, sometimes we get down to it without really setting the mood around us. ‘Some people find that involving other senses around them can heighten sexual pleasure.’
‘Try putting an essential oil [but no where near anyone’s genitals] on or lighting a scented candle. Play some music (classical or club, depending on your mood), or try dressing up: a maid outfit, high-heel shoes, jewellery, make-up; whatever makes you feel sexy’.