In 2019 I wanted to commit suicide, if you read my book ‘’Enslaved to my emotions’’ where I talked about how to control different types of emotions and use them to your advantage. I highlighted a lot of triggers, factors that triggers emotions which leads to depression and this depression leads to suicidal thoughts and finally, suicide.
Depression is not something you should joke with because it has a lot of negative responses and negative result.
Understanding your triggers and what makes you feel too emotional and depressed is the most important thing to do as a human because if you let depression in, then your life is at risk.
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I wanted to commit suicide because of my emotions. A lot of things triggered my emotions back then because I was not able to control my emotions. In fact, my emotions was controlling me, I had no power over my emotions.
What I actually learnt from my experience was that, no matter how hard you try you cannot overcome depression if you don’t understand the following:
- Your triggers
- Your inner emotional feelings
- Your intentions and reactions towards your triggers
- Your self-value
These are few things you need to understand when it comes to depression. Your triggers are the things that makes you angry, sad, jealous, and scared. These are emotions that we are battling with every day.
So what are the five things to do when you are depressed?
UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ARE DEPRESSED
This is the first step towards controlling your emotions which will prevent you from feeling depressed. When I understood that somethings gets me angry and some doesn’t I began to focus more on those things that gets me angry, my intentions here is to make sure I take time to highlight and place more time into understanding what put me into this depression. When you understand and know your triggers you’ll be able to avoid them or fight them.
I would advise you to fight them instead of avoiding them but fight with high level of maturity because sometimes it’s better to avoid something than to face it hoping that you’ll overpower it when in reality you are not ready to fight or overcome it yet.
Have you seen a drunkard who dived into a room filled up with alcohol in an attempt of proving that he has overcome drinking? NO. You can only face alcohol face to face without having the urge to drink when you have successfully overcome drinking habit.
So, before you face any challenge, be ready to face it as a man, with your chest out and your legs strong to the ground so you won’t have to succumb to it.
My emotional trigger was financial crisis and health challenge. Each time a problem pops up I tends to dwell in perpetual sadness, I would spend a whole day thinking about it and getting worried over something I cannot even change.
I would trash talk myself simply because I couldn’t create a solution to my problem. You need to understand what gets you depressed. It can be your family problems, it can be educational factor, and it can be health challenge. What you really need at this point is understanding which one makes you feel this depression.
STOP COMPLAINING AND BE GRATEFUL
I believe you often heard that heart of gratitude is the best quality you can possess as human. Few years ago I was not a grateful person, in fact, I was so ungrateful to the point of not telling God ‘thank you’ YES, it was that bad. All I could see then were challenges, problems, things I couldn’t have, things I prayed for that I haven’t yet received, I was not grateful for anything, I was always complaining, blaming people around me, even blaming God for not helping me and taking me out of my situation.
I thought I was doing the right thing not knowing that I was really killing myself. Instead of me to be grateful for the things I have, I was busy complaining about the things I didn’t have forgetting about the good things of life God has given to me.
The reason why people are depressed is because they look up to the things they want to have rather than appreciating God for the good things He has given to you. You have life, good health and yet you still ungrateful. WHY? When you are not grateful you start feeling depressed.
TALK TO SOMEONE
One of the things that really helped me when I was depressed was talking to someone about my depression. After attempting suicide many times I summoned courage and talked to someone about it, He didn’t say anything new but I felt better at some point after pouring out my emotions. There is something special about telling someone how you feel. It’s like taking off a heavy stone from your back, you feel light and free again.
Another thing you need to focus on when it comes to overcoming depression is forgiving yourself and knowing that whatever mistakes you made in the past can be forgiven. Have done a lot of bad stuffs in the past, sometimes those things comes back to disturb my peace at some point until I was able to forgive myself. One of the things that makes you feel less of yourself and depressed is inability to forgive yourself.
You need to know that your past will only define you if you let it. In my book ‘’Enslaved to my emotions’’ I talked about how to let go of the past, I highlighted a lot of factors that makes letting go of the past very difficult. One of the reasons we can’t let go of the past is because we can’t forgive ourselves and when you cannot forgive yourself, you are still living in the past. Enslaved to your past is very dangerous because it will only bring about depression.
START ALL OVER AGAIN
Starting all over again can be scary to a lot of people but it might be the best thing you can do for yourself and your future. Starting over means letting go of the past, taking yourself, your thought and mind from the past and focusing on the possibility of the future. Believing that good things awaits you, knowing that you have a bright future to focus on instead of wasting your time thinking about the past
The first thing to do is telling yourself that you are strong enough to overcome anything that stands your way. You need to start been grateful for the things you have. The fact that you are alive means that God is not done with you yet. So, I would advise you to pick yourself up and start the journey once more.
I know it’s really difficult and I know that it can be frustrating, I understand how you are feeling right now, trust me I do. The fact that am alive today, telling you about what to do when you are depressed means that there is hope for you too. I found peace and happiness, you too can find even more. You need to forgive yourself, understand your triggers, talk to someone, stop complaining and be grateful, lastly you need to learn how to start over again. I know you are strong enough, after all, you never know how strong you are until been strong is all you need.