One of the hardest things about moving on from a breakup is accepting that the person who used to be the center of your world does not want to be part of your life anymore. The difficult part is when you are left hanging because you are not sure whether to wait or not.
However, knowing that your ex does not want you back anymore should push you to move on no matter how hard it is. If you do not do it, you will end up being pathetic from wallowing with bitterness while your ex is freely enjoying his/her new life.
Here are 14 signs that may help you realize if it is worth hoping for a reconciliation:
1. Your ex does not respond to your calls or messages.
This one is normal if s/he does not answer your calls and messages days after your breakup. Maybe, s/he just needs time and space. However, if after weeks and months your ex does not even bother to ‘seenzone’ your messages on Messenger, and s/he never pick up even if you call every day, then it is clear the person does not want to communicate with you anymore.
2. You get blocked or s/he changes mobile number.
When you get blocked on Facebook and his/her phonebook, it means your ex does not want you to reach out to him/her anymore. S/he may even change contact details to make sure you cannot contact him/her. When this happens, just respect the person’s privacy and stop looking for ways to communicate.
3. All your stuff is returned.
Usually, it is hard to return the things of your ex after a breakup if you still love the person, because doing so is like letting the person go for good. That is why, if your ex gives you the stuff you gave him/her, it could be a sign that s/he is already letting you go.
4. Your efforts are taken for granted.
If after weeks or months you are still doing everything to win your ex back, but it seems like s/he does not care about it, then you better stop. You are only making a fool of yourself. If the person still wants you back, s/he would not ignore you for a long time, because s/he could not withstand taking you for granted.
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5. Your ex does not make any effort to reconcile.
If over the weeks and months your ex never makes any effort to win you back or at least express how s/he misses you, then it is a clear sign. The person does not want to take any step that can rekindle your affection for each other, because s/he wants complete freedom from you.
6. S/he tells you ‘I’m tired’ with a sigh.
When a person gets tired of a relationship, s/he would not be eager to keep it anymore. So, if your ex does not want to get back together, and s/he tells you s/he got tired already, then stop pushing for it. You better give him/her space and time to rest.
7. The family does not welcome you anymore.
Usually, if you are welcome in the home of your boyfriend or girlfriend, you become part of the family. So, whenever you two fight, they would tell you to reconcile. They would even back you up to win him/her again. However, if this time the family is already cold to you, maybe it is because your ex made it clear to them that s/he does not want to be back with you anymore.
8. Ex is not interested to see you.
If your ex still cares for you, then s/he would be dying to see you again if given the chance. However, if after several invitations to dinner or coffee your ex never gives in, then it means s/he is not interested to meet up with you.
9. Ex seems irritated and unexcited to see you.
What about accidentally bumping into each other? If your ex seems unexcited and annoyed seeing you after weeks or months of being separated, then it means s/he is not interested to hear you or see you anymore. If the person still cares, that moment would be special and emotional for him/her.
10. S/he freely posts about a new date on social media.
Even if you already broke up, if your ex still loves you, s/he would not want you to be hurt. The person would not do anything that would push you away completely, because of s/he hopes for reconciliation. Nevertheless, if s/he is dating someone else already, and s/he is open to the public about it, then that means you are out of the picture. It is like saying s/he is free, single and available to like anyone.
11. S/he does not care if you date someone new.
In the same way, if your ex does not seem to care if you find someone new already, then it means s/he is already over you. If s/he still cares, s/he would normally directly or indirectly express anger or bitterness. S/he could confront you about it, and may even cause him/her to realize and admit that s/he is afraid to lose you to someone else.
12. You are told you deserve someone better.
This line is a cliché usually used when dumping someone. Normally, this is an excuse used by a person to free himself/herself from the guilt of causing pain to someone. One who truly loves his/her partner would do his/her best to deserve that person. So, if your ex keeps on using this on you whenever you try to get back with him/her, then you have to think twice.
13. S/he seems happy and content with their present life.
If breaking up with you was not a loss for your ex, then it would show in his/her aura. Yes, it is normal that s/he misses you, but if s/he seems to get by with peace and joy without you, then maybe s/he thinks the breakup was a good decision. You can tell this if s/he does not look stressed, gloomy and lifeless— the usual signs when a person is going through a tough time.
14. You are not chosen.
If there is a need to choose between you and another person, then whoever gets chosen is clearly the one holding the heart of your ex. If the other person gets picked over you, then you know the answer to the question of whether your ex is over you or not.
It is okay
Life does not end when your ex’s affection for you ends. There are still a lot of reasons to go on with life. Do not focus on your loss. Instead, be thankful for the blessings you receive and value the people who continue to be there for you.